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Band Info
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Coming forth from the fermented loins of Nancy Reagan; Spawned by the mix of the vile sperm of Ronnie, Satan, Wattie, and a league of evil midget commandos; Squished out in an explosion of rotting fluids Children of Reagan rose up to play old fashion down home punk. Reborn of the ashes of the long dead Insurrection the five products of the most unholy of unions formed an unthinkable two bass, two guitar, and one big-as-fuck-hair-metal-kick-your-dad’s-fat-ass drum set attack and spread like a plague of fleas across Columbus. Eventually the unthinkable occurred and Jeremy was no more, cut down in his prime by the promise of a real life and riches, and so there were four. The remaining Children of Reagan, too demented for a normal life and too stupid to know when to give up, didn’t let this deter then and set out again to irritate and nauseate all in their way. This is their story…
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Band Bios |
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Rob, Master of Battle Grooves
Ex-Navy Admiral Rob was birthed in an earlier life as the bass player for Columbus band Godbox. Raised under the slime covered man-holes in the sewers of L-Town Rob was eaten alive by mutant rats, created by the fallout of the nearby sausage and pork factory. Rob was reborn from the loins of Ronnie and Nancy in 1999 and lays down the lead bass lines as a slave to the 80s. |
Bob, Master of War Drums
Bob “Jungle-man” Bunny comes from a sordid background in the N-Town revolutionary sex kittens. Playing with various so called bands for years Bob was teethed on the teats of the sweet milk of the stardom of being from the first punk band from Coschocton, O-fucking-HI-O. The Ex-Insurrection member meet his first fate at the hand of angry South American terrorists as a spectator of an uprising during a Tiffany concert. Bob was raised by Papa Ronnie to lay some beats. |
Matt, Master of Core Thunder
Ex-member of the subversive group the Young Communist Squirrels, Matt made his way to top of the pop rock music scene underground by a steady regime of anger and diet of dried squid. Growing up under the tutelage of zen master forest spirits and the original bass player for Insurrection, Matt was gunned down during the final moments of the song “FUCKY FUCKY CAPITALIST BITCHES” while performing with the Young Communist Squirrels by an army of angry midgets. Mama Nancy and Daddy Ronnie summoned Matt back from the realm of the forgotten for the sole purpose of laying down the the angry backbone bass that is at the core. |
Brian, Master of Fighten’ Twang
Ex-leader of the C-town midget militia Brian was forced into hiding at an unfortunate incident involving a home made pee-gun and the original tape of a un-released Kenny Logins video. An Ex-member of Insurrection Brian was cut down, execution-style by a member of the midget militia for a misplaced comment about “wee-ones” in the aftermath of the Young Communist Squirrels “Situation”. Daddy Ronnie and Mama Nancy re-birthed Brian to scream, holler – both with voice and guitar. |